THOUGHTS

09-12-2023:

There is seriously 0 reason for schools to be running state testing like it's Squid Game

09-01-2023:

It must've been so easy to be an astronomer 1000yrs ago cus all they did was name the shit that wasn't named yet

07-26-2023:

Living with women exclusively is fun until I'm watching Pitch Perfect with painted toenails

07-11-2023:

Personally if I was Muscle Man me & High Five Ghost would be doing a lot more than high fiving

07-05-2023:

Just sitting gere eating a gay ass strawberry granola yogurt might as well just prepare my hole

06-25-2023:

If u opt out of Amber alerts u going to hell

05-26-2023:

If ur last name Wiggins keep that shi to urself dawg

05-25-2023:

God I wish Family Guy would do a Star Wars collab

05-04-2023:

How dafuq do they get child stunt doubls like r they putting less important kids in danger

04-27-2023:

I can't eat breakfast food bro the second syrup hit my mouth I gotta shower

04-08-2023:

I could be playing games rn but instead I'm throwing up & wiping snot off my floor with my big toe

03-20-2023:

How r ppl nudists like aren't u cold dawg

03-18-2023:

Do ppl with bells palsy get their face numbed at the dentist or do they just raw dog it

03-06-2023:

I hope my kid forgives me for naming him Phreddy

03-06-2023:

Shoutout to the Walmart lady who gave me an extra chicken tender

03-04-2023:

People don't throw tomatoes at comedy shows like they used to. They really used to run comedians off stage with pitchforks cus how bad a joke got to be to get booed at

03-03-2023:

You couldn't pay me a grillion dollars to be in those hair loss restoration before and after commercials

02-24-2023:

Diss tracks r fun until u realize it's just two dudes writing poetry about each other

02-22-2023:

You know u needa shower when ur balls start smelling like chicken noodle soup

02-21-2023:

Remember to always clean the grip tape on your skateboard with soap and water cus those carry a lot of bacteria

02-18-2023:

I watched the Rupaul show for the first time and I honestly don't know what I thought drag queens did before then

02-16-2023:

Y'all should see my cum shots stg I squirt

02-15-2023:

I love licking the clit of the ice cream sandwich

02-13-2023:

You ain't live till you waffle stomp some dookie down a public park drain

02-11-2023:

Who else stroke they beard and laugh maliciously before bed

02-10-2023

A finger slipped in while I was wiping my ass just now

01-31-2023:

There's a zit growin in my beard and it hurts so bad

01-22-2023:

Might see that new movie pussing boots

01-18-2023:

2013 skating YouTube was rlly putting "-tage" at the end of any title

01-09-2022:

If I ever see y'all kid's air Jordan's in the cubbies at the McDonald's play place then that child is going home barefoot

01-02-2023:

All that bruschetta is making my stomach do backflips and I don't think I'll ever eat agin

01-01-2023:

Who up picking they butt rn

12-25-2022:

I hate when ppl judge others based on their music taste but I listen to Smash Mouth

12-17-2022

Just spilled applesauce all over myself and it's literally running down my neck rn

12-15-2022:

They should reveal found missing kids on the MAsked Singer

11-20-2022

I tried sushi for the first time & it was good

11-09-2022

The sexy bitch cutting my hair today started scratching my scalp and I jizzed my pants

11-06-2022:

Aw hell naw the Bruins signed Mitchell Miller

11-04-2022:

I accidentally matched Green Day shirts with some fatass in Outback today

10-12-2022:

I got a 30 dollar skateboard from some hobo in a parking lot today

09-12-2022

I had a dream I hung out with Tony Hawk and I deadass wish I didn't wake up

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THOUGHTS